at the risk of jinxing myself
I find myself in a position that I hate being in… looking for a job. My term contract at Critical Mass is, as of now, ending on July 18. Can’t believe it’s been nearly a year already. Working at CM has been the best job that I’ve ever had, hands down, but due to a few major clients either scaling back their work with us or pulling the chute outright, it’s a bit of a “transition” season at the office right now.
Although I’ve been told that they have every intention of keeping me, the reality is that on June 18 I may very well be out of a job. Until I’ve got a signed piece of paper in my hand, I’m operating under that assumption, and preparing for it as I should.
I absolutely want to stay at CM, but I’m also fully aware that the reality is that I may not be able to. In the interests of wanting to be able to continue eating and keeping my lights on (and my LotRO subscription in good standing) I’m hedging my bets and starting to blanket my resume/portfolio around.
Actually, I’m still in the process of rebuilding and updating my circa-2005 website, which all things working out as they should, will likely be finished and online in, um, about 2 hours from now. *crosses fingers*
I hate job-hunting.
motivation is a fickle mistress
There’s work I needed to do tonight. I accomplished very little of it. Earlier this evening I was looking forward to it, even excited by the prospect of having a creative outlet… but by the time I actually got down to it, I had lost the spark. I don’t know where it went, I just knew it wasn’t in me anymore. It’s not paying work that needs doing, it’s a personal project that’s been on the back burner for far too long (and through no choice of my own just got placed very much on the front burner — is that vague enough?).
So instead, I find myself still awake at quarter past 12, drinking South African Cabernet, and listening to the Sneaker Pimps. This doesn’t necessarily seem like a bad place to be, overdue projects and pressing deadlines notwithstanding.
This is a recurring theme for me… “the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak.” Not just in the arena of work projects, but in so many other ways. I have stupendously good motives most of the time, it’s the follow-through that’s a bit more, shall we say, “lacking.” We could also say “suckass.” Or “fecking useless.” You get the idea.
Still. Sneaker Pimps. Red wine. I could be in much worse places.